The biggest reason why I left everything to become a model was because I wanted to be a part of fashion. I wanted to be a part of creating something that was physically transformative and immediate. But I did not know I was signing up to be scrutinized for every superficial thing, beginning with weight, to being too commercial, too edgy, too small-waisted, too big-hipped, too anything. But this I (reluctantly) accept--in an image-driven industry like fashion, you are not a person, an individual, but rather an object that looks or can look a certain way. 'Look' is the word. What I realized beyond, however, is what I have the hardest time accepting, and it is that they will not treat you like a human being. They wont treat you as an individual, with emotions, feelings...someone who gets older, someone whose time is as valuable as anybody else's. And that's what hurts.

 This is one of the hardest times of the season, the last leg of the marathon, when stress levels peak and patience and temper weigh down on razor-thin ice. I hate it.

5 comments:

Seraphina said...

I hope you feel better, Soo Joo! :-(
You are truly and inspiration, and I hope that you have a long and deserving break ahead of you.

Kate said...

modelling is temporary, happiness and health is forever. I hope you can see through their superficial ways and do whats best for you. In the end their pressures and contradictions are not worth risking your well-being. Stay sane and lovely, you rock soo joo!

Karina De Jesus said...

Wow, thank you for your transparency, Soo Joo!! It's hard to hear what the industry is really like because the same as you - I want to be in it because of my love for fashion. I hope you feel better and goods things happen. I know they wil, you're great. Do you think you'd do it again if you had the chance to redo your choice?

Anonymous said...

let this current job open doors for you. and when the time is right be prepared to really create again - in another role.

Angela J. Kim said...

I never knew models were capable of such profound thoughts. My sincere apologies, it must be the "image" thing. It must be especially harder for you. Not knowing is one thing but knowing, and still doing (with love and passion), is another. But no worries, we all live with such contradictions.